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Friday, December 30, 2016

The unplanned post

Life, how life roll in ways you don't imagine

One time you're ready, and the other time you left in stunned

I was meant to make a comeback to this blog, next year, late January 2017 during my on leave days So many things I want to express, so many story I want to tell

Then life, took my biggest light and it left me with nothing but darkness

So I, as always, know that when something gone but life keeps moving on, the past memories, he things you cherish, the feeling will eventually fade away and dissapear

I don't want that to happen, not to my one and only solid source of happiness. I want to always remember him, remember the feeling, remember the presence and I know it can only be possible if I write it down


Today, 30 Descember 2016 marked the 10th day after my father passed away. And though I had realized It was the best for him it still indeed took my soul.

In the last 10 days, I got visited by friends, I started taking care of his will and belongings, I go out, I did karaoke, I  function myself in the society like how i should be
but every now and then, I realized, there is big part of me that missing, forever, and when the realization coming it hit me hard like an iceberg so I can't help myself but cry

Most of the time, my meltdown moment didn't come  before I went to bed like I always imagine, it somehow happen usually during the day, when the weather was nice, the wind breeze and everything is quite and peaceful..why? I don't know, probably because my head feels clearer during that time so then it also become clear that I can't see him anymore

I got a call less than an hour before his death. It may sound like a casual phone call but it is such important closure for me. I can clearly heard his calm and peaceful voice and that's what's matter for me. On the other side, the call, is also something that hurt me because I am a greedy human being and if I could rewind that moment, I want to tell him more than that, tell him I love him, I always proud of him until the very end and thank him for being him, for being the father of me, for teaching me all the things I breath in and tha I will continue to try to never dissapoint him


This post is meant to be introduction, from a longer post that will follow, memoir of Sultoni Arifin from how his proud daughter see him throughout his life

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Recapping movie : fifty shades of that grey

si Ana biggest mistake, entering the room

Oke, jadi dari lama gw sudah mendengar tentang buku fifty shades of grey ini - adult banget katanya sih - lust banget juga katanya sih - tapi yang paling bikin gw wow adalah karna gw denger ini buku ditulis oleh seorang fans twilight yang suka bikin fanfict... (hihi sebagai mantan fangirl suatu industri gw sangat tau apa yang terjadi dengan cerita fanfict)

Sunday, November 2, 2014

A very late post of my simply wonderful Day

Today is only the second day of November, before November there is the glorious October came, and yes on that month there is my birthday.

when we stop

Have you had time when you are out of things to do and you end up just stand still and reflect your life, what have you been through for a while...and then you think aah..It's been a while

yes, I'm doing it right now.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

It's okay it's just it's okay it's love

*Blogger God must have hate me for not visiting and writing for so long but then once i come back is to write about Kdrama. kkkk. well it's okay it's love baby*

- ok this is my very first time doing Kdrama discussion in my blog, so please, be nice.

Friday, June 27, 2014

A man with intelligence and attitude

To me, loyalty is one of most precious value that a human can develop out of itself. A loyal person, is not born, you build yourself to it and it can't be in one night. So when i first my carrier life, i know that no matter how hard it is, i should be my leader follower, i should obey its word, i should admire that person for the goods he has and accept the bad he has, i should look up to him and he should be a motivator and inspiration.

And this one man, makes it all so easy...